Mistake #2: Unintentionally (But Maybe Not *Accidentally*) Cheating on My Boyfriend Navigating Non-Monogamy columnist Zachary Zane explains how unclear boundaries in his open relationship paved the way for him to maybe, sort of, kinda cheat on his boyfriend—despite *technically* not lying. It's complicated.
BY ZACHARY ZANE PUBLISHED: MAR 23, 2023 Of course, even if we had communicated better, I still could’ve fallen in love with Kai, or with anyone else, for that matter. Regardless of your relationship structure, that’s always a risk, and one I think Angelo and I were both afraid of. Which is why ultimately, my biggest mistake was not telling Angelo I had fallen for Kai. Could it have ended our relationship? Yes—especially if he asked me to pick between them—but in many ways…it kind of did anyway. Both my relationships ended painfully , and ultimately, I ended up in the same situation I’d been trying to avoid.
So here’s the lesson: In every relationship (but especially non-monogamous ones), you need to define your rules and expectations from the beginning and communicate about them honestly, t hroughout your relationship. The very ability to define these rules is one of the things that makes ethical non-monogamy so special in the first place. And yeah, it's risky! You might not be right for each other and that can hurt like hell. But at least you can separate knowing you were true to yourselves. You're not staying in an unfulfilling relationship where you feel like you have to lie or settle for what doesn't serve you. And I, for one, can't think of a more satisfying way to love.
*Names have been changed
Because the article is long we could not post all but go to our source blog ; Cosmopolitan
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